Blueshift
by TouchOfViolet
Summary: All Nessie Cullen wanted in the whole world was to be considered average. But instead she's got a werewolf trying to make her swoon and a bounty on her head. Oh well. No one ever said being a Cullen was easy. Or boring.
1. Goodbye

**Author's Notes:** Please don't tell them I've gone over to the dark side.

Jordan, you are the light of my life and the, um, apple of my eye...? Thank you for being the world's best beta, and of course, a fellow (closet) Twilight fan.

**Disclaimer:** Is the Space Pope reptilian? Oh. Wait.

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**Blueshift**

By: Touch of Violet

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blue·shift [**bloo**-shift] –_**noun **__Astronomy_ .  
a shift toward shorter wavelengths of the spectral lines of a celestial object, caused by the motion of the object toward the observer.  
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_Destiny is not a matter of chance_, _it is a matter of choice_;  
_it is not a thing to be waited for_, _it is a_ _thing_ _to_ _be_ _achieved._

-William Jennings Bryan

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**Chapter One: Goodbye**

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I was more nervous than I should have been. Really, it wasn't a big deal. Sure, my crazy family was making it into a big deal, but it wasn't. It was just track nationals. I'd be in and out of town for a few weeks over the summer. That was all. No big deal. Really.

But, still. Nervous.

I bit at a stray cuticle and watched the waves crash into the rocky sand. It was unusually windy for this time of year, and there were a good deal of surfers out on the water today. There were even a couple of kiteboarders out, showing off for all the girls left on the beach. One of them got a good deal of air before the kite caught the wind wrong and he and his whole setup fell into the water.

I could hear a couple of the girls giggling to each other, pointing at the fallen kiteboarder and exchanging less than dazzling comments.

I abandoned the cuticle – ugh, a manicure was definitely on the horizon – and shoved my hands into the front pockets of my hoodie. They balled up into fists and I wished I had something to do with them to help ease my anxiety. I had a stray thought about learning how to knit – not that that would help me _now_, on the freakin' beach, _hello_ – before picking up a couple of the stones next to me.

Maybe I could find a flat enough one to skip.

Over the large waves.

Because that was possible.

I found a large, flat black stone and held it in the palm of my hand. It sparkled in the hazy light of the cloudy afternoon; it seemed oddly familiar, though I couldn't place where I'd seen it before.

"Nessie!" A male voice called, "Hey, Ness!"

I looked up, startled that he caught me by surprise, and smiled at Jacob. He was shirtless (as always) and unaffected by the wind. He smiled as he sat down next to me, his dark eyes glinting. "Why didn't you call?"

I pointed to my nose and winked. I knew that as long as he was anywhere in the area, he would pick up my scent and find me. Plus, I was hoping it would take him a little while to locate me so that I could work up something intelligible to say to him.

His smile grew and he nudged me with his shoulder. "So, what's up?"

I thought about just coming out with it. I thought about immediately telling him my summer plans and, coincidentally, my reason for being on First Beach at all. But instead, I said,

"I'm going vegan."

His dark, bushy eye brows came together. "Is that like, a vampire joke or something?"

I chuckled. "No. It's just me being Eco friendly. And speaking of vampires, please don't tell my parents. Well, I'm sure Dad already knows because, mind reader, but it's probably best not to bring it up all the same."

He stared at me for a little while and I could almost hear the gears turning in his head. "I don't get it."

I laughed despite myself. "I'm going vegan, Jacob. At least for the summer. No animal products whatsoever."

"None?" he asked, sounding incredulous.

"None."

He shook his head, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes. "Nessie, that's not safe. What if you get thirsty? What if-"

"It's okay, Jake. My thirst has never been as bad as the rest of my family's. And I know it's going to be difficult but I believe it's the best thing for me." His unconvinced look made me sigh and promise, "If it gets real bad I'll cheat on the vegan thing and find an elk or something."

He rolled his eyes but seemed placated. "You and this 'mother earth' crap. Stupid Prius."

I laughed again. Last September, for my 7th birthday, I received a driver's license from my Uncle Jasper and the car of my choice from my mom and dad. Jacob seemed to be personally offended by the mere existence of my Toyota Prius.

"It's a hybrid. Like me."

He rolled his eyes again. "It's not even a real car. It's a toy. Anything that can be plugged into a wall is not a car."

"Well," I said grinning, "you _don't_ have to drive it."

He mumbled incoherently under his breath and I knew he'd drop the subject. Jacob always insisted on driving me home and running back to the reservation by himself. I'd never really thought about telling him no.

We sat together for a while, just watching the ocean. The rock felt heavy in my hand and I stuck it in the pocket of my shorts. I didn't want to try to skip it. It was too pretty and too familiar.

Jacob sighed quietly next to me. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

I grimaced, suddenly feeling more guilty than nervous. "Yes."

He didn't say anything for a little while, watching the kiteboarders do some less than impressive tricks. "I just don't understand why."

I shrugged. "It makes me feel normal."

"But you're _not_ normal!" He exclaimed, gesturing widely with his arms. "You're better than normal! You're…you're Nessie!"

"Yeah," I agreed because, well, there really was no arguing with logic that solid. "But there is a very normal, very human side to me that I'd…I'd like to get to know better, I guess."

Jacob looked more confused about that than about the Vegan thing. He twisted his hands together and it was obvious he desperately wanted to understand where I was coming from. I smiled at him and gently placed my fingertips on his cheek.

How could I possibly explain this selfish, burning desire to fit in with my peers? I was so grateful for my weird and wonderful family, but I wanted to belong somewhere else – somewhere outside my home. And unfortunately, I just never seemed to fit anywhere outside the safety of the Cullen household.

In my mind's eye, I could see my awkward and sometimes painful school days. Very rarely did anyone speak to me. I sat by myself during every class and at lunch time. I was an outsider, an often unwelcome member of Forks High. When girls did talk to me, it was usually mocking. Occasionally they spoke to each other about me like I wasn't even in the room – remarking on how weird and out of place I was.

It hurt. I knew it shouldn't – what did these silly human teenage girls matter in the great scheme of things? But I wanted to fit in. I want to be liked. I wanted to have friends who were neither vampires nor werewolves. I knew it was selfish – I had a great home life. I had almost everything anyone could ever want. But there it was anyway: the desperate longing to be normal, the pain from not fitting in.

When I took my hand away from Jacob's face a deep frown was pulling at his lips. "Ness," he said in a shocked whisper, "Who were those girls? I'll give 'em something to talk about!"

His low growl broke my somber mood and made me laugh. "It's not just the girls though, Jake." I admitted. His dark eyes narrowed and there was no longer a friendly sparkle.

"Show me," he said in that deep timbre of a voice that was typically saved for Alpha Mode.

I obeyed without thinking. Placing my hand on his, I showed him. Very rarely did boys approach me. But when they did, they didn't take too kindly to being rejected by the school's weirdest student. And the rumors boys started in locker rooms were often infinitely worse than anything the girls gossiped about.

His eyes were murderous when I pulled my hand away.

"You're never going back there," he said in the same, deep timbre. "I'm talking to your parents about it today. You can go back to being homeschooled. You are _never_ going back there."

"Oh, no! Jacob!" My voice was desperate as I grabbed his hand again.

School wasn't completely terrible. I was good at Track and Field – and, really, why wouldn't I be? Half vampire and all. But looking convincing was a challenge, and I liked the feeling of accomplishment that came from placing well in a race. Plus, my teammates seemed to forget that I was an outsider when we were all competing together. There was even a girl who was relatively new to the school who called me her friend. Unfortunately, we didn't have any classes together and had different lunch periods. The time that we did get to spend together, though, almost made me feel like a normal teenage girl.

I felt like I fit in when I was on the track field, and that was why I wanted to compete at the national level.

Jacob stood up, sighing. He looked defeated, and I could tell he was going to let me go without a fight. He reached out his hand and helped me to my feet.

He stared at me for a long moment, and for some reason it was hard to breathe. The air around us felt suddenly dense. It was so thick it was suffocating and I wondered what happened to the windy day.

Jacob's gaze dropped to his feet, his hands hidden in the pockets of his shorts. "It doesn't have to be like this, Nessie," he whispered.

The suffocating feeling increased and my abnormally fast heart picked up; I was afraid I might pass out from lack of oxygen. The air was so thick around us I thought maybe I could reach out and push it away – just long enough to take a decent breath.

"You don't have to leave, Ness," he continued, unaffected by the air around us. "I could…I want to keep you safe. I want to make you happy. More than anything." His voice broke and so did my determination.

I rested my hand on his cheek, unsure of exactly what to show him, unsure of what to say to him. I wanted him to know that I knew. I wanted him to know that I didn't care about the male population, or what they thought about me, because they didn't really matter. Leaving wasn't about boys. It wasn't about finding love. It was about being happy with who I was without feeling out of place all the time.

My mind flashed to different memories of Jacob. He'd always been there. He'd always taken care of me and praised me, always been the first to soothe my worries or make me feel better about myself. I knew, from the bottom of my heart I knew, that he spoke the truth. And that all he wanted in his whole life was to simply make me happy.

My fingers lingered on his cheek bone. Even though I knew that…

I took a deep breath. Even though I knew that, I wasn't ready to stay.

He smiled softly and took my hand into his own much larger one. For a moment, we just looked at each other.

Finally, he sighed, and it felt like I could breathe again. "You got some time to be thoroughly owned in wakeboarding before you go traveling all across the country?"

I laughed, zipping my hoodie open, already in my bikini. "You're going down, Black!"

His grin took on a wolfish quality, his dark eyes sparkling again. "Not a chance, Cullen."

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We ended up having a lot of fun wakeboarding and body surfing. Of course, Jacob and I always had fun when we got together.

He often forgot that I was rather unbreakable; he would never let me fall onto the sand when I'd try to be impressive on the wakeboard and fail. He was always there to catch me.

It was a little annoying.

Not that I wanted a mouth full of sand in particular, but, I was a big girl with indestructible skin. I could handle a little fall at the beach.

He drove me to my house, in my Prius, in relative silence. The dense air at the beach seemed to have followed us to the car. It was weird, because while we were having fun breathing came easy. Now though, in the silence of my car (the Prius' engine was ridiculously noiseless) there was a thickness in the atmosphere I couldn't quite figure out. Mercifully, we pulled into the yard of my house, forgoing the garage.

Curious.

"I'll walk you in," Jacob said, not looking at me as he hurried out of the car. He didn't open the door for me and stood, expectantly waiting at the entrance of the house.

Curiouser.

I raised an eyebrow, but obediently unbuckled and followed him. "Okay, well, thank you for bringing me home."

He grinned his patented wolfish grin (maybe I was getting a cold - maybe that's why it was so hard to breathe today…um, not that I'd _ever_ had a cold) before opening the door. "Wouldn't want you alone in the death carriage."

"Hardy har har." I shook my head and walked inside. "You shouldn't knock so hard on the Prius, it's really-"

"SURPRISE!"

Crash. Bang. Spasm. "...the hell?"

The lights flicked on and the entrance hall was filled with family members and friends.

Huh.

I probably should have smelled them. Or, seen them. Because, half vampire.

It was somehow Jacob's fault for distracting me with...dense air. And so forth.

Auntie Alice was on me first, before I even had a real chance to look around, hugging me so tight I choked. "Are you surprised?" She demanded.

Coughing, I nodded and pushed her away. "Yes. Very! What, um, what is going on?"

She giggled and stood at my side. "It's a surprise good luck/going away party. See, it's fitting because, we are all wishing you good luck, and you are going away. And, so are we! So, it's a party for all of us, really, but mostly for you."

I looked around the room to see who 'all of us' was. Mom and Dad were by the stairs, Mom waving excitedly when I glanced in their direction. Grandad Swan and the Clearwaters were next to them. Grandma and Grandpa Cullen and Uncle Jasper were to my right. And Uncle Emmett and Auntie Rose were just to my left, all the members of the Denali coven standing behind them.

"Woah."

Jacob's warm hand was on the small of my back, guiding me into the center of the room. "Breathe, baby girl," he whispered in my ear.

His command seemed to have the exact opposite effect on my ability to breathe.

My family (the Cullen side) was taking the summer to travel with Tanya's coven around Africa. It was a special birthday present for Uncle Em, who couldn't wait to bag some tigers and possibly a lion or two. I had planned on going with them until I qualified to participate in nationals for track, so, effectively, my family was leaving me all alone for most of the summer.

I would be a perfectly, average, ordinary teenager for the entire summer - absolutely no vampiric relatives around at all. And though I would miss them, I was excited to the point of being giddy.

I did not expect a 'Going Away' party for all of us, or for anyone of us, really, but knowing my Auntie Alice, I should have seen it coming.

"Hi, everyone!" I finally said, and my Mom squealed. She jumped off the stairs and was hugging me in seconds.

"It was SO hard not to tell you!" Bella admitted, squeezing me somehow tighter than Auntie Alice had managed. "We're all just so proud of you!"

"And we're going to miss you," Edward said, suddenly at my side, taking me from my mother and hugging me. He flashed a meaningful look at Jacob. "Be careful while we're gone."

He kissed my cheek and I thought I might get a face sprain from smiling too hard.

"Jacob!" I said, hitting him in the shoulder. "I can't believe you were in on this!"

His hands were in his pockets when he shrugged, his eyes twinkling. "Any excuse to show you up on the wakeboard."

Alice snorted, hitting him on his other shoulder. "If only the mutt would do what I tell him! I had a dress all picked out for you, but he was all, 'meh'! And now, look at you! You'll be a mess for the pictures! Shorts and a hoodie over a bikni," she sniffed, "hardly appropriate party wear."

"Pictures?" I asked absentmindedly as Uncle Emmett shoved something in my face that flashed. I glared at him and he laughed, taking another picture.

"Don't worry about it," Jacob said, smiling down at me, his eyes smoldering in a way that was definitely illegal in at least fifteen states, "you look good in anything."

Suddenly desperate to get away, I threw myself into Auntie Rose's arms and we posed like fashion models for Uncle Em's camera.

Soon I was hugging everyone, happy beyond all reason to see Charlie again, and to see our extended family. Especially -

"Garrett!" I laughed as he twirled me around. "It's so good to see you!" I held his hand and thought about the last time I saw him two Thanksgivings ago, when Auntie Alice decided she wanted the real American holiday experience. He had taught me how to bow hunt, which was fun, but decidedly not as easy as just biting something.

He laughed and hugged me once more. "That was a lot of fun," he agreed, "We'll have to try again when we get back from Africa."

"Uh."

Kate was there, pulling me into her arms. "Don't worry," she whispered into my ear, "I'll shock him if he tries to pull out the god awful bow again."

He grunted as though someone had punched him in the stomach, and I couldn't help but burst into giggles.

After greeting everyone - Seth Clearwater kissed me on the cheek, saying something like 'Hey, beloved niece!' before abruptly being kicked in the shin by Jacob - Auntie Alice dragged me upstairs to change.

"I swear," she mumbled not quite under her breath, "that mutt will be the death of me." Even though she probably meant to sound intimidating, there was absolutely no animosity in her voice. In fact, she almost sounded somewhat affectionate of Jacob, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

I wondered just how much my cheeks were going to hurt tomorrow from smiling far more than any reasonable person should in one evening.

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**End Notes:** Guess I'm out of the closet now. Team Fursplode!


	2. Torn

**Disclaimer**: I yawn in the face of this disclaimer. Yawn.

**Author's Notes**: As always, a big thank you to my lovely beta, Jordan. And special thanks to _luv2beloved_, _xhearttowordsx_, _Eileen Fairie_, and (the infamous) _Jor L_ for reviewing. Did I mention I love feedback? Because, I do. I love feedback so very much. Some people might call me a feedback whore. And those people are right – _mean_! I meant to say that those people are mean. Eheheh. Anyway. Review! Please and thank you! :)

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**Chapter Two: Torn  
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_I'm not lost, I just haven't found everything I need.  
I'm not torn, I'm just getting it together._

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"There!" Alice smiled so large all of her teeth sparkled in the fluorescent light of the bathroom. "Finally presentable."

I snorted but found myself grinning at my reflection. She had put me in a simple green dress, stuck some lipstick on my lips and ran a comb through my hair, leaving it in its natural state - a wavy mess. "Thanks, Auntie Alice," I kissed her cheek. "Now I can pose for pictures without breaking the camera."

Alice nodded in agreement, cleaning up her sink counter. "Which is good, because I only have two backup cameras left."

I laughed as I left her giant bathroom, in search of my parents.

They were pretty easy to find - held up in the den with Jacob. They sounded like they were having a fairly serious conversation, so I tried to eavesdrop quietly.

Which, was hard, with a dad for a mind reader and all.

"Hopefully we can find Huilen," Bella was saying. Something that sounded a lot like a growl caught me by surprise. "It will be good for her!"

"To ask questions of someone who understands," said Edward in a very placating tone. "You must've noticed how Ness is..."

Is what? Grown up? Confused? Right outside the room?

He chuckled, and I guessed that he could hear me in my hiding spot. "Unsure of how to balance both sides of herself. She needs balance, Jacob."

At least he wasn't going to call me out.

"And you think talking to another hybrid is going to bring her that?" asked Jacob.

"It can't hurt," Bella whispered.

Edward sighed. "There is something else we need to tell you. Another reason we are all going on this trip."

There was awkward silence, and I wished I could see into the room without being caught. "I thought Emmett wanted to hunt a liger."

A liger?

Were those things even real?

"That is part of it," Bella admitted. "But, Jake, we're...well, we're also going to be looking at new homes."

"WHAT?"

Bella shushed him softly. "The Cullens have been in Forks for quite some time, Jake. Carlisle's coworkers at the hospital are starting to ask questions."

"So?" Jacob demanded in an obviously strained whisper. "Who cares what other people think? Just tell them that Carlisle's had plastic surgery or something!"

"That's not the only reason we're thinking about moving, Jacob," Edward said, and it sounded like he was speaking to a child. "Nessie's talent on the track field has garnered attention from some prestigious schools. A private high school in Michigan is offering her a scholarship. It's quite the starting point for her."

Huh. I had tried to play that off as if it wasn't a big deal to me.

Guess I can't get anything by a mind reader...

Sigh.

"Why would she need a scholarship?" Jacob asked angrily. "You guys are loaded! You could get her into any school she wanted."

"You know my daughter better than anyone, Jake," Bella said in her most calming voice. "Do you really think, if she was given the choice, she'd rather just be given opportunities instead of earning them?"

Mom did have a point. If I did well in Michigan I could get a scholarship into any college in the country. My parents wouldn't have to pay a dime for me, and I wouldn't have to take a student loan. And I desperately wanted that.

"She likes to be independent," said Edward.

"Sure, sure," Jacob said dismissively. "But she doesn't have to be!"

"That isn't the point," Bella urged, sounding like she would cry if she could. "It's better for all of us this way. We can get a new start. Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice...they can come out of hiding. We can all go back to high school and start at a younger age. And no one would be questioning Carlisle and Esme's age. Plus, Renesmee gets that feeling of success and independence because she did this all on her own."

Guilt crushed at my heart.

I hadn't realized just how bad things in Forks had gotten for my family.

I hadn't realized just how long the Cullens had been in one, human infested, place. Of course people would start to ask questions. Uncle Em and Auntie Rose had graduated from high school almost 10 years ago, and there was no way they looked like they were in their late 20s.

They were all locked inside the house, staying in Forks. For me. Because I wanted to go to high school and hang out with werewolves and somehow still be normal and they were trying their hardest to provide that for me.

And here I was, anxious for them to go on vacation, so I could pretend to be average.

After all they were giving up for me, I was selfish enough to ask them to disappear for a while too.

Quietly, I stalked back up the stairs, trying not to draw any attention to myself. I sat down on the top stair and rested my head against the railing.

'Daddy,' I thought, my eyes closed. 'Daddy, I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so excited to be alone. I know how lucky I am to have such an amazing family, and I am so grateful for all of you. And I know how selfish it is of me to wish to be average, to have a normal family, when I am so blessed to have the family that I do have. And-'

"Ness?"

Woah.

My eyes opened and I watched my father sit down next to me. I really needed to work on using my vampire sense more.

This people sneaking up on me thing was getting a little ridiculous.

"Hey, Daddy," I smiled up at him and he kissed my forehead.

"Ness, nobody thinks you're selfish."

I rolled my eyes and leaned my back against the railing. "Sure, sure."

Edward's eyes narrowed slightly. "Talk it out with me, Nessie. Explain to me what's wrong."

Pfft. Like he didn't already know.

"I have some ideas," Edward admitted, "but I'm not certain, and I don't think you are either."

With a sigh, I gave in to his stupid, pseudo-psychological demands of 'talking it out' like I was four, or something.

Granted, I was only 7. So. Whatever.

"I didn't know how...awkward things were getting for everyone here," I told him slowly, unable to look him in the eyes. "All I was thinking about is how I just wanted to be normal. And how excited I was for some time away from you guys, so that, maybe, people could get to know me just as Nessie and not as the Cullen girl."

Edward nodded. "So, what you're saying is, you are worried about being selfish because you wanted to find where you belong away from your parents?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, happy he understood.

He chuckled and put a hand on my shoulder. "Ness, that is so..._normal_ that it's _funny_."

"What?"

"You're growing up, Ness. So you're trying to find your independence and your footing in the world. You're trying to figure out who you are away from home." He squeezed my shoulder. "Nessie, welcome to the world of being a teenager. Every other adolescent has done the same thing in the history of all time."

I grunted in surprise. "Really?"

He nodded, smiling brightly.

"So, you're saying, I am-"

"So average that it is _boring_."

I could feel a smile take over my face as I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "Oh, thank you, Daddy!"

He laughed and hugged me. "Anytime, my incredibly boring little princess."

All at once, he stopped laughing and slowly pulled away from me. Confused, I glanced at his face, and saw that he was looking down at the entrance to the house.

Jacob sulked towards the front door - someone had put a shirt on him - with Seth and Leah following close behind. They slammed the door as they walked out.

Dad must've heard my confusion.

"He's still reeling from the conversation your mom and I had with him," he whispered. "He's going to go...well, run it out, I guess. Seth and Leah are going with him."

I looked back at Dad and noticed how unsettled he seemed. "Why would Jacob be upset about us moving? Won't he come too?"

He chuckled, but there was no humor behind it. "Unfortunately, I don't think it's that easy for an Alpha to just get up and leave his pack."

Maybe it was a little naive, but I had never really thought about Jacob being a separate entity from my family. He belonged with us, even if he wasn't exactly related, or even adopted. Or, even a vampire. He was still a part of my family. He was my Jacob. And I never assumed that we could go somewhere that he wouldn't follow.

"Not naive," Edward told me, giving my hand a squeeze. "Just tender hearted."

Suddenly, a huge need to go and speak to Jacob washed over me. "Is he still close by?"

Dad shook his head. "No, he's several miles out already. It's getting harder to hear him."

I could feel a pricking sensation at the back of my eyes. "W-will he come back?"

He kissed my forehead again. "I think so, Ness. I don't think he'll let you leave without saying goodbye."

"There you are!" Auntie Alice exclaimed, appearing at the bottom of the stairs. She put her hands on her hips and glared playfully. "I've been looking all over for the party girl! Come on," she waved a hand, "it's rude to keep your guests waiting."

I sniffled and rubbed my eyes quickly, hoping she wouldn't notice how pathetic and naive and young I was. "Okay, Auntie Alice."

"Come on," Edward said, standing up and offering me his hand. "Grandma Esme made a special grilled mushroom dish for you, completely animal product free." Managing a smile, I took it, and walked with him to the living room.

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Hours passed, and even though I couldn't completely forget about Jacob - brooding and smoldering - or about the fact that we could possibly be moving soon, I did manage to have fun. My heart felt heavy as I spoke with my family members; I hadn't realized just how much I would miss them this summer.

The worst of it came when I sat on Grandad Charlie's lap and listened to him and Sue talk about nothing in particular. We were going to be leaving them behind when we moved.

Midnight approached and I was tired, but fortunately so were the other humans in the group. Charlie and Sue said their goodbyes and Mom walked them to their car in the garage.

"Yeah, I guess we should start cleaning up,"' Uncle Emmett sighed as he scrolled through the pictures he had taken on the digital camera. "And by _we_, I mean _you all_, of course. As the photographer I am exempt from cleaning up."

Grandpa chuckled and Uncle Jasper snorted, but Aunt Rosalie chucked the TV remote at his head.

The room erupted into laughter just as Mom walked back in.

She ran her fingers through my hair and smiled softly down at me. "Someone's here to talk to you," she whispered.

The rest of my family didn't notice the way my heart picked up or how hard it got to breathe again, but Mom did. She kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand. "It's going to be alright," she told me, and I don't know how, but soon I was outside in the dark, alone and waiting.

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I could smell him before I could see him; his familiar scent, like the forest just after a storm, comforted me and calmed me down. Why was I so nervous? It was just Jacob. We had spent the whole day alone together, for Pete's sake! Nothing had changed.

Except for the fact that we could be moving after the summer...but, we'd work that out! Jacob was a part of our family, just like Grandad Charlie was. And we would make sure to include all of them in our lives, no matter how far apart we were. I would personally make sure of it.

I was going over the speech in my head (he didn't need to be upset because I would come up with a plan!) when he stepped onto the porch. Fortunately, he was still fully clothed in his denim shorts and button down shirt. He put his hands in his pockets and smiled at me.

A heaviness seemed to settle over us. It felt like being wrapped up in that uncomfortable wool blanket Renee had sent at Christmas last year - hot and suffocating and _itchy_. No one else noticed how terrible that blanket was because they were too vampire to feel it. Just like how Jacob seemed oblivious to the awkwardness now.

But I could feel it. And I wanted it off of me.

"Hey," he grinned, and the blanket tightened its hold around me. "Sorry I missed the end of your party."

I took a deep breath. "It's okay," I managed. "You stayed long enough to devour most of the food."

"I do my part," chuckled Jacob, though there seemed to be very little humor in his voice. "So. I guess this...this is goodbye."

"Not for long!" I said in a rush, trying to ease the itchy heaviness that pressed in at me from all sides. "Just for a few days and then I'll be back and we can do something fun together. Just the two of us."

He nodded without looking at me. That same humorless smile found its way to his lips again. "It's a date then."

...unngh?

We didn't move or speak for a while; I wasn't sure what to do. He was standing there, so close to me, like he was waiting for something. But _what_?

Was I supposed to hug him goodbye? Was that what he was waiting for? It's not like we hadn't hugged a million times since I'd been born. Why was it so difficult now - the atmosphere around us so hot and heavy and so unbearably itchy - to just reach out and hug Jacob? It was _just_ Jacob, after all.

My Jacob.

He nodded again and took a step away. The smile on his face seemed sad now. He pulled out a hand from his pocket to wave as he stepped off the porch. "See you in a few days, Ness. Be good."

I watched him walk towards to woods and my heart ached. I couldn't just let him leave like that.

"Wait, Jacob!" I ran after him, not bothering to keep my speed in check like I normally had to, and reached him before he had fully turned back around. I jumped up and threw my arms around him. "I'll miss you," I told his shoulder.

He hugged me back, lifting me off the ground. "I'll miss you more."

We were both smiling when he set me back down on my feet.

"I promise I'll be back before you even realize I left in the first place," I told him. His gaze dropped down to my lips when I spoke and didn't move back. Suddenly self conscious, I moistened them with my tongue and was caught off guard when he mirrored my actions.

The uncomfortable heaviness was back.

I cleared my throat and Jacob blinked. He looked back into my eyes and smiled before reaching out a hand.

He patted me on my head.

"Be good, Nessie. Stay safe."

And in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

.

.

.

.

.  
I puffed an indignant curl off my forehead as I walked back into the house, annoyed but not sure why.

The nerve of that...that _Jacob!_ Being all angsty and and and...to _pat_ me on the head! Like I was a pet or something?

Oho, he was confused about which one of us was the canine, apparently. Just what was he thinking, and-

"Ack! No! Compost!"

I ran into the kitchen and took the serving tray filled with uneaten finger foods away from Grandma. She had been about to dump them in a trash can.

I touched her arm. "We use the compost in this house, remember?"

Grandma smiled indulgently at me as I ran through my memories of proper recycling techniques. "Of course, you're right, Nessie. Everything else will be composted, I promise!"

I nodded and turned my attention to the rest of the leftovers. "Well, I'll help you guys, if that's okay?"

Carlisle hummed his approval from his position bent over the dishwasher. "And just so you know," he said with a blinding smile, "I waited until we had a full load to start this up."

I grinned at him and the awkwardness from my encounter with Jacob seemed to completely disappear as I cleaned the kitchen with my grandparents. Grandma helped me sort the trash into two piles (compostable and not compostable) and we talked about how nice it was to have Tanya's family with us again.

"I am excited for this trip," she said, "but I do wish you were coming with us."

I leaned my forehead against Esme's shoulder and felt tears prickling at the back of my eyes. "I'm going to miss you guys. So much."

She turned around and pulled me into a big hug. "Oh, baby doll," she whispered and stroked my hair.

"We'll be sure to call," Carlisle said, placing his large hand on my shoulder. I let go of Esme and hugged him around his middle.

"Everyday?" My voice was muffled by his chest.

He chuckled and the vibration was soothing. Esme kept her hand running through my hair. "If that is what you wish," he promised, and then they both were kissing my cheeks.

"Renesmee?"

I looked up to see my mom in the kitchen doorway, a worried expression on her face.

"Is everything okay?"

I nodded. "Just saying goodbye."

Bella smiled. "Alright, I'll let you finish up. But we need to head over to the cottage. It's getting late and Edward and I wanted to talk to you before you sleep."

I kissed my grandparents and gave them each another hug before I followed my mom out the door and to our cabin, wondering what exactly my parents needed to talk to me about, and hoping, for some strange reason, that it had nothing to do with Jacob.

* * *

**End Notes:** Did I mention I love feedback? I think I did…but, just in case I forgot: Review please! Because you love me? Yes. You do.


	3. Friends

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight. Surprise!

**Debts of gratitude: **Many thanks to Jordan for being so wonderful and lovely. And a big thank you to everyone who took the time to review. It really does mean a lot to me!

Dear God,

Please don't let this chapter affect my adorable readers' appetites

for bananas and cucumbers, the sexiest of foods. You know what I mean.

Amen.

* * *

**Chapter Three: Friends**

_Though you swear that you are true,  
I'd still pick my friends over you._

_._

_._

_._

_.  
_

.

.  
I was wrong.

Really, really wrong.

Talking about Jacob would have been the best thing. Ever. And _so _superior to the conversation my parents insisted on having.

Dad sat at the foot of my bed, the same expression on his face he had when I had been homeschooled – he was all business. At least Mom had the decency to look embarrassed, hovering in the doorway and sporadically twitching. If she was still human I was sure she would be blushing.

"We just want to make sure you understand how important it is you protect yourself," Edward said. "We don't know what procreation will look like for you and you shouldn't risk anything."

I picked up a pillow and put it over my face. "Use condoms – check," I squeaked.

There was a pause.

"Do you need a demonstration?" Edward asked and I stopped believing in God.

"No!" I shouted, feeling heat spread over all over my cheeks, and I threw my pillow at him.

"He meant, like, _with a banana_!" Bella cried, her hands over her face like she didn't believe in God anymore either.

Dad was on his feet, a hand stretched out to both of us; I had the fleeting impression he was trying to calm us down with this gesture.

Where was Uncle Jasper when we needed him?

On second thought – no. No, no _no_. No.

I held another pillow in my lap and hunched forward, trying to pretend I had turned into a boulder.

"We aren't going to be here for a while," Edward spoke in an even tone, "and we just wanted you to be prepared for anything that may come up."

"Prepared for…for…UGH!" I couldn't bring myself to say the word. "You don't have to worry about it, Dad! Oh, God, _please_ don't worry about it!" I clamped my eyes shut and wanted to be dead. "I don't even have a boyfriend!"

Mom and Dad both froze awkwardly. They exchanged glances before Mom sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Well," she said, clearing her throat. "Well. Things change. You're grown up now, and people notice these things. And things…they, they change. And that is understandable. To me."

Blink. Blink. "…um, what?"

"What your mother is trying to say," Edward cut in, still staring at Bella like he wasn't entirely sure what she was trying to say but hoping to salvage the situation anyway, "is that sometimes things can change quickly, and we want you to be able to protect yourself when we aren't here to do it for you."

Oh. Gross mental image.

Bella nodded frantically, a smile on her face. "It's fate, Renesmee! You know, destiny! Things can change in a moment, and we just want you to be prepared." She and Edward exchanged a glance. "For whatever is in store for you," she added on.

Blink. Blink. "…um, what?"

Mom's face fell. She sighed and turned to Dad. "I know you said Carlisle went over this with her in a health course two years ago, but do you think he left something out?"

I loved it when my parents talked about me like I wasn't in the room. Especially over whether or not I knew what sex was. It was _freaking awesome_.

Edward tilted his head. "No, she knows."

"Are you sure?" Bella questioned, her yellow eyes darting around the room but refusing to stop at me. "Because, if she needs a refresher, maybe we should-"

"NO!" I shouted, my cheeks burning and humiliation strangling my lungs. "I know! Okay? I know! _God, _WHY do you think I have to sleep every night with my ear buds in and my iPod on?"

Mom and Dad froze awkwardly again, exchanging glances. When they looked away from each other I was positive both of them would be blushing if it was possible. "Oh," Bella whispered, staring at the floor.

Edward cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets.

"So, get out! Get out!" I shooed, pushing them both towards the door. "I love you guys, but, _seriously,_ enough now!"

I was about to shut the door in their faces when Dad held up a hand. "Are you sure, Ness? I mean, we have bananas and cucumbers in the kitchen, so it wouldn't-"

"AH!" I screamed and slammed the door. With another agonized cry I covered my ears and dove on top of the bed, trying my best to disappear under the pillows and covers.

And to think, just an hour ago I was feeling guilty about wanting to be away from my family for a little while. Now I was dying for them to leave me alone.

The morning couldn't come fast enough.

.

.

.

.

.

.

My face was still burning in humiliation when the car finally pulled up to my high school. Mom and Dad had decided that I did, in fact, need a demonstration and had been waiting for me when I woke up in the kitchen – holding a cucumber and a small, square packet. I'm fast by nature, but I had never moved as fast as when I ran from the cottage, screaming for someone else – _anyone_ else – to please take me to school.

Of course, when Uncle Emmett found out why I was so upset he fell out of his chair and rolled around on the floor, laughing hysterically. I decided that I hated his guts, and wished he _did _need to breathe, so that maybe he'd suffocate himself with his laughter. Or swallow his tongue. Or something.

Stupid Emmett.

Stupid parents. With their…condoms.

Oh, _no._ Gross mental image. _Yuck!_

Uncle Jasper chuckled from his seat next to me, almost as if he knew what I was thinking about. Maybe he was just picking up on my disturbed and humiliated emotions. Either way, a soft feeling of comfort blanketed over the car and I sighed.

There was a yellow bus in the middle of the empty school parking lot. My coach and a couple of people I didn't recognize were standing next to it, talking to each other and loading luggage. Three teenage girls were being chased around the bus by two teenage boys and I smiled.

My track team.

There were six of us going to Portland this year. It was the most students from Forks who had ever qualified to compete in anything except for the local league. Dad said that it was because of me. He said that my skill pushed the others around me to be better. I thought it was just a load of crap, what all Daddys were supposed to tell their little princesses, but he insisted he was only relaying my coach's thoughts. Either way, I never pushed myself as hard as I could. Not even close. I actually worked at being believable. I made an effort to lose. One time I even tripped over my own two feet on purpose.

I loved being on the track team and I didn't want anyone finding out about my crazy heritage and making my position vulnerable. After all, a half vampire was likely to cause some controversy on the high school track circuit.

"Be good." Auntie Rose said as she put the car in park. "Stay out of trouble. I don't want to cut my vacation short because of you," she smirked in the rearview.

"And call us all the time!" Auntie Alice said, turning around in the passenger seat. "I won't be able to see you and it's going to drive me crazy being so far away from you for so long without knowing."

I smiled. "Sure, sure."

Auntie Rose turned in her seat. "Scoot your butt up here and give me a hug goodbye." Her eyes glinted and suddenly she was waving a banana in my face. "Or else."

My mouth fell opened and my aunts and uncle cracked up laughing.

"Relax, Love," Auntie Rose managed through her (evil, maniacal) chuckling. "I just mean that I won't pack this banana in your lunch sack for the trip."

Well. It was kind of funny.

I swallowed my giggles and leaned forward. Acting put off, I kissed them both on the cheek and rolled my eyes in an over exaggerated fashion when Alice pulled me into a big hug.

I loved my aunts. So much. What was I going to do without them for the whole summer?

Uncle Jasper reached for the door handle. "I'll get your bag for you. Pop the trunk, Rosalie?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that," I said, rushing out after him.

He smiled charmingly, and I knew that if he had been wearing a hat he would have tipped it to me. "I'm sorry, Miss, but when I see a lady in need I just have to step in."

I snorted and hit him in the shoulder. "Thanks, Uncle Jasper." He picked up my duffle bag and held it over his shoulder before bending down to kiss me on the cheek.

"Anytime. Now, how about I escort you to your carriage?" He offered his arm and I blushed at his incredible dorkishness.

And though it was slightly embarrassing to walk with my arm around my uncle's towards my coach, teammates, and assorted parental figures, it made feel very special and incredibly blessed.

And even though I was dying to be alone and away from my crazy family, I loved them with everything I had.

It took no time at all to be loaded onto the bus and I slid into a bench by myself. I leaned my forehead against the window, waving as my family drove away. My heart sunk and I sighed.

I missed them already.

"Alright, everyone! Listen up! Listen up, please! Gonna go over some rules." The small group on the bus grew quiet (more or less) and settled down (mostly) to listen to Coach Anderson. Coach Anderson was sexually ambiguous, and not in an interesting rock star sort of way. Overweight and very tan, she had incredibly short brown hair and a mustache. But, she was most definitely a woman.

Or, at least, I know she sat down to pee because we were in the same bathroom once when she entered a stall. So. Close enough.

"There will be no rough housing," Coach Anderson ordered in her awkwardly too deep voice. "There will be no moving around when the bus is in motion. And your chaperons, Mr. and Mrs. Franklin, are just as much in charge as I am. Got it?"

There was a general murmur of agreement. Coach Anderson nodded and told the bus drive to "get going already" before sitting up front next to the Franklins.

Ten seconds later, the two boys (Finn and Evan) left their seat two rows in front of me and moved across the aisle and towards the back of the bus where Nicole and Chelsea were sitting. Coach Anderson didn't notice.

I chuckled and settled into my seat, content with sitting by myself. I was used to it and I kind of liked it. It left me alone with my thoughts.

All of my many, many thoughts.

Um.

Hmm.

.

.

Sigh.

Who needed deep thought anyway when there were MP3 players to be listened to?

"Hey!" A friendly voice greeted and I looked up, surprised. Kaylie was standing in the aisle, smiling brightly. She slid in next to me and pushed her short blond hair away from her soft blue eyes. "What's up?"

I fiddled with the braided bracelet Jacob had given me this past Christmas. "Oh, nothing. Daydreaming. You?"

She shrugged. "Same. You ready for the meet?"

"Definitely."

The other girls started giggling and we both glanced over. All four of our classmates were looking at us. "What's with her anyway?" Nicole was saying too loudly to be trying to be inconspicuous, "Weird freak. Just like the rest of her family." Chelsea was nodding and laughing like a hyena from lion king. And not the smart one.

The Ed one.

Kaylie nudged my shoulder. "Don't listen to them," she said. "They're just jealous."

I snorted and started fiddling with my Quileute bracelet.

"It's true," she insisted. "They're jealous because you're incredibly beautiful and they are worried that the boys they like will like you better so they are mocking you in the hopes that the boys will join in, therefore giving the bitches an ego boost."

I could feel my cheeks catch fire. "I don't think it's like that."

"That's because you're too nice to be conceited," she said with a roll of her eyes. "But it's true. You shouldn't be in Forks. You should be modeling or something."

I laughed, legitimately surprised. "Okay."

She smiled. "Just remember what I said when you're a big famous model, okay? And then buy me a house. And a car. And some jet skis."

"Jet skis?"

She grinned, a dimple popping up on her right cheek. She grabbed my hand. "To go with the yacht, of course."

Kaylie's eyes clouded over and she froze. She shook her head and let go of my hand, blinking rapidly. "Woah. I totally just started daydreaming about a Native-American dude on a motorcycle."

My already fast heart picked up tenfold. She'd been holding on to my hand and I'd sent a thought her way without trying to. I leaned as far away from her, my back hitting the bus window, and my hand went to the locket around my neck, trying desperately to come up with some sort of excuse.

Kaylie just smiled again. "Weird. Because that is definitely _not_ what I normally daydream about. Sorry for spacing out like that."

I forced a smile and made myself breathe like a normal human being. "N-no problem!"

She cocked a blonde eyebrow at my over exaggerated cheer. She looked like she was going to say something, but Finn and Evan left their posts with the other girls and kneeled down on the seat in front of us. Kaylie's eyes narrowed but she flashed the boys a smile. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," Finn said with a shrug.

"We were just talking," Evan nodded his head towards Nicole and Chelsea. Kaylie and I often called the other girls 'the twins' because they looked very similar and they dressed alike almost every day. They both had brown hair that they styled in the same way (think, The Rachel, circa early 1990s) but Nicole had hazel eyes and Chelsea's were more of an interesting gray color. They were both fairly good looking, as far as regular humans go, but in that sort of generic, expected way. Evan raised an eyebrow, "And we have a bet to settle."

"What kind of bet?" Kaylie asked, crossing her arms against her chest.

Finn gave me a grin that I'm sure was supposed to make a girl feel breathless. He was handsome, if you went for the tall and dark type. His jet black hair was cut short, and his white shirt brought out his tan skin. "Is your name like, Vanessa, or something?"

I stared at him for a minute, unsure of what was going to come out of this encounter - if this was going to turn into a "let's taunt the Cullen girl for her weird name" moment.

"It's Renesmee," I finally said, feeling exceptionally vulnerable.

Evan's nose scrunched up like he could smell something rotten. He wasn't bad looking either, though not as stereotypically handsome as Finn. His hair was red and curly, and his eyes were vibrant green. He had a couple of freckles on his nose and a dimple on his chin. "Reenahhsme?"

I shook my head. "Ren-ess-may," I sounded out slowly.

"Reneazeme?" He tried again.

I blew a curl off my forehead. "Yeah. I don't know how to pronounce it either."

Kaylie laughed. "Just sneeze and she'll answer!"

The boys chuckled and I felt a swell of affection for my only human friend.

"Or, you could just call her Loch," Nicole piped in from her seat in the back. We all looked over at them – Chelsea was giggling in to her hand.

"Or monster," she said, still giggling.

My eyes narrowed at them. Normally, my feelings might have been hurt by people making fun of me. But, that was really-

"Clever," Kaylie said with a roll of her eyes. "And you just _know_ they were working on that for _days_, just waiting for the perfect moment to use it."

The swell of affection billowed and turned into a huge surge. I smiled at her. "I have a family member who calls me Loch sometimes," I shrugged. "It's kinda funny."

I held my old, cherished locket in my right hand and sighed, suddenly thinking of Uncle Emmett. I felt a little bad about wanting him to die earlier.

Finn smiled again, this time without seeming forced or practiced, and jammed his thumb towards the front of the bus. "I feel for you, Ness. My last name is Franklin, but my parents named me Finnegan. It's a cruel world."

We all laughed this time and I felt myself start to relax.

Kaylie leaned forward in her seat. "So, Finn, I saw you in Seattle. I'm amazed you even qualified to come to Portland!"

He shrugged. "Yeah, I suck at hurdles. But I came in first for the 100 meter so…" his voice trailed and Evan laughed, punching him in the shoulder.

"You only came in first because that one kid tripped and took out everybody else!"

Finn nodded, his dark eyes sparkling in a familiar way. "Well, I'm nothing if not a lucky man."

Soon, we were all talking about the upcoming meet – even Nicole and Chelsea joined in – and I felt like I belonged there. I contributed to the conversation where I could, but my mind was wandering. Guilty, I picked up my phone and started to text.

_Sorry I wanted you to die earlier, and that I couldn't come on your birthday hunting trip. Bag a giant liger for me, okay Uncle Em? And next year, you and I are hunting wolphins._

It took less than a minute for my phone to buzz.

_HELL YES!_ ;) _Love ya, baby girl._

I grimaced and quickly put the phone away. He wasn't the only one who called me baby girl. With a glance at Kaylie I carefully scooted away from her, lest she touch me again and inadvertently think she'd picked up a fetish for Native-American boys on motorcycles.

This was going to be a long bus ride.

* * *

**End Notes:** I do hope you all can continue using bananas and cucumbers in their intended, delicious ways.


	4. Belong

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. But an iPad. And you know what? That's enough for me.

**Be warned**: This has yet to be combed over by a beta, which means I'm the only person who has even attempted to edit it. Expect major suckage.

Thanks for reviewing, guys. I love you.

* * *

**Chapter Four: Belong**

_So morning comes and I'm nervously clad  
in these sheets not my own and these hands where they don't belong.  
And I'm all but a victim in my prison head.  
I should run for my gun but I'm lying instead, in your hands._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._  
I reached my arms over my head and stretched in the warm sunlight, unable to contain my smile even if I had wanted to. I had placed (or rather, let myself place) in the top 3 of the 4 events I had competed in. I even let myself win the 1,500 meter and it was such a thrill.

This was the most I'd ever be allowed to do – actually, it was surprising Dad and Grandpa let me even do this. National level attention was something vampires were supposed to shy away from. But, they had caved and for that I was grateful. My heart may have longed for the Olympics, but I'd take what I could get without jeopardizing myself and my family.

The 4 x 400 meter girls relay event was next and the team had decided that I should go last. And by that I mean that Coach Anderson had ordered it so, mustache bristling, and no one dared to argue.

I dropped my arms when Kaylie approached. She shook her head and tsked, a smile on her face. "Only you would bother with glittery lotion during a track meet."

Confused, I glanced at my skin. I didn't sparkle like my parents, but I did glow slightly in direct sunlight. I told people who asked that I used lotion with glitter, the kind that you could only find around Christmas time. I blushed and pulled my arms around my back, pretending to stretch.

"Yeah…sweat and…so," I mumbled, incoherent even to myself.

She laughed. "Ladies and gentlemen – the always eloquent Nessie Cullen!"

My blush increased. Fortunately, Coach Anderson chose that moment to yell at us that the relay was about to start and to take our places already.

Kaylie bumped into my arm, laughing as we walked towards Nicole and Chelsea.

All at once her laughter stopped and she covered her eyes with her palm.

She had made skin to skin contact with me again! And I had sent a thought her way again! But, maybe it wasn't of –

"I swear, I gotta stop watching American Choppers," Kaylie mumbled and I grimaced. "Or, eating Land-O-Lakes butter. Or something."

I laughed, ignoring Coach Anderson's glare. Kaylie just flashed me her most brilliant of smiles.

.

.

.

.

.

I sunk down to the bottom of the pool, watching tiny bubbles pass before my face. The meet had gone exceptionally well, and I was kind of the hero. I knew that Dad was going to freak when he found out that during the 4 x 400 meter girls' relay race, when I was the last contestant and we were down by over 100 meters, I somehow managed to pull ahead and win.

It was totally convincing and didn't look at all like I had superpowers.

Really.

Or, that was what I was going to tell him. When he got back. At the end of summer.

But until then I was just going to enjoy being the hero of the day, and having five other teenagers accept me into their group. _Finally._

When I surfaced, "Single Ladies" by Beyonce was coming through the stereo system that surrounded that hotel pool. Mr. and Mrs. Franklin were eating at the little tiki hut by the hot tub that served various wares, and Chelsea was dancing the Single Ladies dance as if she was Beyonce herself. Finn and Evan were behind her, trying to imitate her. Kaylie and Nicole were in the water, laughing hysterically.

I swam over to get a better view.

Finn and Evan were hilarious – they tried to keep up with Chelsea's movements, but were failing horrendously, so they mostly just shook their hips and kept slapping each other on the butt. Chelsea, for her part, seemed to be completely oblivious.

Evan reached over and spanked Finn so loud the sound reverberated around the pool. Finn retaliated by shoving Evan into the water. Evan knocked Chelsea on his way in, and she fell to the cement, skimming her knees and palms.

And I really should have seen it coming. What's more, I should have dove under the water when I saw it coming. But I didn't. And the smell of Chelsea's blood overwhelmed me.

It had been several weeks since I had last hunted, as I was determined to be Vegan. My restraint was wearing thin. And I wanted Chelsea.

"Oh, are you okay?" Kaylie asked the fallen girl, swimming over to her side. Evan popped up out of the water and started apologizing right away. Nicole and Finn just kept laughing.

As fast as I could, I swam in the opposite direction. It would be a terrible thing indeed if I were to kill my teammate just as I was starting to fit in. I held my breath and practically ran to where the Franklins sat at the tiki hut.

"Chelsea fell," I stammered, trying to speak while not breathing. "Bleeding. She is."

Mr. Franklin stared at me. Mrs. Franklin seemed to realize what I was saying (and that I was not Yoda) first. She got a first aid kid from the man behind the tiki hut counter and the two of them made their way over to Chelsea. The man behind the counter was looking at me funny – maybe he thought I was actually about to morph into Yoda and didn't want to miss the show.

"Water," I choked out, trying as hard as I could not to breathe until Chelsea was properly bandaged. It was getting more and more difficult, considering I was part human.

He was an older man, with a big gut not quite hidden by a small, white apron. He was balding, but he made up for his lack of hair with a full, gray beard and great big bushy eyebrows. But as he produced a water bottle out of seemingly thin air, he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

I chugged the water in just a couple big gulps. When the bottle was empty I took a deep breath.

And my throat burned. The water hadn't been enough. I wanted blood.

"You really shouldn't use plastic bottles," I told him, sitting down at the counter and trying to focus. "They're terrible for the environment. Do you recycle, at least?"

He looked at me as though I had really turned into a resident of the Dagobah system. "Uh. No."

"Food," I ordered, my head in my hands. "Please, do you have anything?"

"Uh, I've got some hotdogs."

I gagged. "Do you have anything vegan?"

"Do I have anything what now?"

"Vegan? Completely without animal products whatsoever?"

"Yeah, there's some grass over there." He jammed his thumb behind him, in the general direction of 'there'.

Though my throat was burning and I was holding on to the counter so tight my knuckles were turning white, I managed to give him the full force of me glare.

He was unimpressed.

"Or. I got some cookies."

"Oh yay! Cookies!" Kaylie exclaimed, suddenly occupying the stool next to me. "Yes, please."

He produced a tray of chocolate chip cookies, also seemingly from thin air, and all I could do was glare. Glare at the cookies for clearly being not Vegan, glare at the man for not being helpful, and glare at Kaylie for seeing me like this.

She smiled at me, taking a nibble of a cookie. "I never would have pegged you for the easily queased type."

I stared at the cookies, focusing as hard as I could at the delicious chocolate chips. I wanted those cookies. I wanted the chocolate chips. And the eggs that were sure to be used in the batter. But I also wanted Chelsea. I wanted to kill Chelsea – I wanted to drink her blood.

My throat was burning.

It was Chelsea or the cookies.

I was going to have to cave on my morals somewhere in order to survive this ordeal.

Growling, I grabbed a cookie and shoved it into my mouth. I moaned despite myself, feeling my eyes roll into the back of my head.

This was the best cookie in the world. That ever existed. Ever.

I savored it for several minutes before turning to Kaylie. The burn had subsided somewhat. I was going to have to figure out how to survive this vegan thing – I didn't want to cheat on my animal product free diet, but I also didn't want to kill any classmates. Dilemma.

"Queased?" I echoed her and she dimpled.

"Blood upsets you."

Ugh. Why did she have to say the word? I grabbed another cookie and tried to pretend like I didn't hear her.

She rubbed my back in a comforting way. "It's okay, I'll stop bringing it up."

"Bringing what up?" a new voice asked. I looked, still chewing, to see Finn walk to us. He sat at the stool on the other side of me, gladly accepting a bottle of water from the man behind the counter. "How incredibly good looking I am?"

I choked on my cookie.

Kaylie laughed and Finn looked offended. "But I am really, really good looking," he pouted, jutting out his bottom lip.

"Thanks Zoolander," the man behind the counter snorted.

Kaylie's laughter turned into hysterics. She clutched her sides and almost fell off her stool.

I smiled at him, swallowing my cookie. "Do you struggle with the inability to turn left?"

Finn joined Kaylie's laughter and for a moment, I could forget about the burn in my throat and pretend like I was a normal teenager – who hadn't just seriously considered murdering a fellow classmate.

He stopped laughing, but a smile still played on his lips. He rested his elbow against the counter and leaned over to me. "Not only am I an expert at turning left, I'm skilled in many other areas." He wriggled his eyebrows.

I was confused. "Huh?"

Kaylie snorted, her laughter dying instantly. Her eyes narrowed."Back off, Finn. Nessie is too innocent for you."

I was even more confused. "What?"

Finn leaned back on his elbow, looking both of us over, his dark eyes skeptical. "How innocent are we talking about here?"

Kaylie's blonde eyebrow arched high on her forehead. "Completely virginal."

Heat spread across my face. "Well, wait a minute-"

"_Completely_ virginal?" Finn echoed, snorting. "Yeah right."

Kaylie crossed her arms against her chest, her eyebrow still arched in that intimidating, somewhat challenging way."She's never even been kissed."

"Hey!" I sputtered, the heat working its way down my neck. "Don't-"

"Never even been kissed? Wow that _is _really virginal." Finn whistled.

"I told you, Finn," Kaylie said, a sing song quality to her voice. "She wouldn't have the first idea what to do."

The heat was all the way down to my toes, I was sure. "That's really just speculation and-"

"Well," Finn's grin took on an almost wolfish quality. He leaned in close to me again, and I felt my heart speed up. "I'm a patient teacher. Or I could be. What do you think, Ness?"

His eyes were too dark, his smile too familiar. I swallowed hard but did not break eye contact. "A lot of that was offensive to me."

"Blah," Kaylie exclaimed, shoving away from the bar. She seemed annoyed. "Good luck. I'm going to go check on Chelsea."

He watched her walk away for a minute before turning his attention back to me. "So, you've never been kissed, huh?"

I was suddenly more defensive than embarrassed and I looked away from his dark, sparkling eyes. "Kaylie says it's nothing to be ashamed about."

"I bet she does," he grinned. "And she's right. It's kinda cute how a girl like you is innocent too."

"A-a girl like me?" I asked, glancing at him from the corner of my eyes. He was still leaning against the counter, still close to me, still smiling that too familiar smile.

I wished he was somebody else.

"Yeah, you know. A girl as beautiful as you. I wouldn't have expected that."

And I knew why he wouldn't have expected that. I knew the things a lot of the boys said about me in school. "Well, rumors are...you know, mean. And untrue."

The way his face lit up, like he had just won some sort of a prize, made me very nervous. I sat up straighter and looked him right in the eyes. "I have a very protective family."

"Ah," his grin grew and suddenly his face was even closer to mine. "But, they aren't here, are they?"

I could feel his warm breath on my face. Everything was so familiar, he was so familiar – I panicked. Blindly, I grabbed a handful of cookies and shoved them in my mouth.

He backed away from me quickly, surprised. I just smiled at him around my mouthful of five or six (definitely not vegan) chocolate chip cookies.

"Alright, everyone!" Coach Anderson called, appearing out of nowhere. I thanked God above for creating such a beautiful, wonderful, track coach with impeccable timing. "Out of the pool and into bed! We've got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow."

.

.

.

.

.

It was always hard for me to fall asleep in a new place.

The hotel room that I shared with Kaylie and Coach Anderson was not the largest, two beds and a small bathroom. And the noise of the air conditioner coming off and on, and the way Coach Anderson snored were both so unfamiliar that I couldn't relax. I put my mp3 player on and listened to the music my father loved, and even some of the pieces he had written for my mother and I.

If I closed my eyes, I could practically see him sitting at the piano. My mom would be on the bench next to him, Grandma Esme standing behind the both of them. Auntie Alice would be dancing by herself.

I smiled and felt my muscles start to relax. With a hand holding on to my locket, I slowly started to give in to sleep.

That is, until someone started shaking my whole body.

I quickly pulled out my earbuds, surprised and alarmed. Kaylie just smiled back at me before putting an index finger over her lips. She nodded her head at Coach Anderson's sleeping form.

"I just got a text from Chels," she whispered. "All the chaperons are asleep so we're heading out to the woods behind the hotel."

I could feel the muscles in my forehead tighten. There were so many ways I could reply to that sentence that I wasn't sure what to say. So, I settled on, "What? Why?"

"Why would a bunch of teenagers head out into the woods in the middle of the night after all the adults have fallen asleep?" She whispered, a bright smile on her face. "Duh. To do rebellious, teenage things. Filled with angst. And hormones."

I could hear my father's voice in my head saying, "Don't even _think_ about it, Nessie. Just go to sleep." I was sorely tempted to obey.

"Please?" Kaylie whispered. "They're all going to pair off and I don't want to be alone. Please come with me?" She stuck her lip out and her vibrant blue eyes took on a doe like quality. Someone had been watching a few too many Disney princess movies.

I knew that I should listen to my father's voice in my head. That I should just go to sleep and be a good little girl and not do anything rebellious during my teenage years. Especially if it were to be filled with angst and hormones. But, Kaylie was my friend. My only human friend. And I liked that.

So, I smiled and whispered, "Okay." Because, after all, what's the worst that could happen?

.

.

.

.

.

I felt out of place almost immediately. The other girls had actually bothered to get dressed again. I had just stayed in my sweat pants, throwing an old t-shirt over my sports bra. We didn't walk very far into the woods, which was a good thing, considering Chelsea was wearing heels.

I questioned her sanity.

Chelsea stared at my t-shirt for a minute, the gears in her head turning so hard I could hear them. "'Save the Whales'?" She questioned. "What's that? A band, or something?"

I _seriously_ questioned her sanity. It took me several minutes of staring in her general direction before I could answer. "No. Just, save the whales. The mammal. From extinction."

She looked at me like she was questioning _my_ sanity before finally shrugging. "Whatever."

"Come on guys," Kaylie chirped. "There's a clearing over there. We can do some stargazing." She turned right and started walking and everyone followed after her because no one seemed to have a better idea of what rebellious teenage things to do in the woods in the middle of the night.

Finn grabbed my arm. "Hey, wait," he whispered and I did.

We stood there like that, him holding on to me, until our group disappeared behind the trees. "I just wanted to talk to you alone for a minute."

"Okay," I said, pulling my arm out of his grasp and turning to face him. "Well, we're alone."

He grinned. "Yes. We are."

He was very handsome, I noticed. Tall, but not too tall, and very tan. His lopsided grin was carefree and his dark eyes seemed to smolder in the moonlight. He stared down at me, with his smoldering eyes and his carefree grin and my heart raced in my chest.

"So," I managed I finally managed, my voice cracking.

He took a step towards me and I backed up. Right into a tree.

Did he do that on purpose?

"I really like you," he whispered, his face close to mine. He put his hands on the tree, on either side of my head, blocking any exit I had. "You're a little weird."

"Thank you?" I squeaked. "I-I get that a lot."

He grinned again and I automatically smiled back. His eyes moved to my lips. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

I could feel my face flush and I wanted to run away, but my feet were rooted to the ground. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

"No," he said, his eyes never leaving my lips. "Just you. I like you. I want you." His hand was on my face, his thumb caressing my cheek.

I gasped.

"It's not such a big deal, being kissed," he whispered, closing the distance between us. "It doesn't have to be such a big deal."

"But what If I want it to be?" I whispered back, unable to stop myself. "I want my first kiss to be special."

"It's no different," Finn said and I could feel his warm breath on my face. "You're no different."

What an odd thing to say.

But I didn't have time to think about it because his lips were on mine, soft at first, and then demanding, dominating. And more than anything in the world, I wanted the kiss to mean something. I wanted it to be with someone who meant something to me.

Finn pulled away all at once, a terrified look on his face. He backed away from me, looking like he had just seen a ghost.

"Finn?" I asked breathlessly, unable to walk away from the tree that seemed to be supporting my entire body weight.

He stared at me, long and hard, before finally blurting out, "I'm not gay!"

Um. Hmm.

OH CRAP!

Did I...did I send him a thought while he was kissing me?

There was a rustling in the bushes behind us and our group emerged. "There you guys are!" Kaylie exclaimed. "What happened?" Her eyes narrowed and she looked us over like a surveyor.

"Evan managed to sneak a few joints here," Nicole said, her thumb lazily pointing at the other boy. "Do you want to smoke or are you just going to stand around all night?"

"Uh," Finn stammered. He raised a hand to wipe his face. "Yeah. Yeah, I could use a joint right about now."

Chelsea tilted her head and stared past all of us, a confused look on her face.

And I realized almost instantly why. Someone was coming.

A beautiful woman stepped into the moonlight, her long black hair billowing around her even though there was no breeze.

Panic seized me and I couldn't move away from the tree.

She didn't have a heartbeat.

She smiled, her white teeth glinting in the soft light. "Well, well," she spoke and her voice was like a song. "Look what I've found. A midnight snack."

* * *

**End Notes:** Yay, we're finally getting into some interesting stuff! *dance dance* So, won't you please review and tell me your opinions about just how much I need my beloved beta back? :)


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